Finding a Place To Make Your Stand
Your dream life is just around the corner despite whatever flimsy footing you have right now!
I’m an old fan of old rock music and as I headed into my new season of empty nesting the Eagle’s song, Take It Easy really hit me one day. If you take a listen I wonder if it will hit you too in a new way.
The individual lyrics like, “Runnin’ down the road trying to loosen my load” and “lighten up when you still can, don’t even try to understand, just find a place to make your stand and take it easy” or “don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy” and “We may lose or we may win but we will never be here again!”, all hold a resounding theme for those of us entering a new season, don’t you think?!
Trying To Loosen My Load
In our mom world we often carry quite a load. Our calendar is full of our family’s schedules and multiple To Do lists that keep us busy. Suddenly, the kids are all grown up or at least headed in that direction, and we’re not sure what to do next or which direction to head in. After all, our family is currently moving forward and we can’t possibly follow them all like we once were able to.
And, back to that calendar that was once full… are you able to see just a tiny bit of how your load is being loosened for you? Are you able to get a glimpse yet that your future calendar is more of your own, where you can start making some of YOUR dreams come true while STILL being the parent of your loved ones?
Lastly here, keep in mind another good analogy the Eagle’s were clued into: “lighten up when you still can, don’t even try to understand”. This is YOUR time sweet momma and those family members are handing you your oyster. Don’t look backward too much, trying to understand it all. You know, the “how’s” and “why’s” of life moving forward with Father Time. This just might be your time to shine!
Don’t Let The Sound of Your Own Wheels Drive You Crazy
Some days it’s not so easy to envision your new calendar or life and one of the biggest obstical’s that I ran into was my own brain!
Reframing my thoughts each morning when I woke up took some work. I’m not going to beat around the bush here, this is the hard part. Sitting with yourself, thinking about new dreams, and trying on new thoughts sounds, “Oh, so romantic!”. But the wheels of my old thinking, calendaring in all the things I use to help my family with, just kept getting in the way. I needed something concrete, a new ritual to start my day, a practice of trying on new thoughts that would help me to prepare my brain into new thinking for this new season.
And yes, it all began by me, with me, just sitting with myself, writing things down, and my favorite; talking to myself out loud. Things on paper that I had put there myself, started to take shape. But my brain needed more proof so I started sharing my ideas with my “safe place”; my girlfriends at coffee and even my family who thought I was a little crazy but were my biggest cheerleaders!
We May Lose or Win But We Will Never Be Here Again
THIS thought was my biggest motivator!
I had to tell my brain over and over again that no matter if my new dreams succeeded or not, win or lose, I would never be in this season again! I wanted to make the most of it. I wanted to at least be able to tell my 45 year old self when I was 80 years old , “Thank you for trying!”. And at the least, I had learned new things, I showed my three daughters that they should never limit themselves despite their age, and given my granddaughters hope that their future could hold any desire they had!
Yes, there have been some losses but not the kind of losses you might think!
I set my sites high and I haven’t always achieved exactly what I wanted on the time frame I wanted. But you know what? By my standards, I was and am still “failing forward” NOT backward! I realized that there were areas where I was being too hard on myself and not giving myself enough time to learn something new or time enough to achieve the dream completely. That’s all, that’s it! So, I readjust my time table on a monthly basis. I can live with that! Could you?
Just Find A Place to Make Your Stand
Finding purpose again in our new season of empty nesting doesn’t have to be a challenge, it can be fun!
With the world at our finger tips from the comfort of our own home, the keyboard is your oyster my sweet girlfriend. All you need is a simple list of five things. Five things that your brain finds interest in. Yes, it’s that simple so why not get pecking away and find YOUR place to make a stand again? The new you, the mom now dreamer who has many interests. That She-Ra just forgot about them for a hot minute.
One quick detail to attention here; “The world is my oyster” quote actually comes from a very fascinating play by none other than William Shakespeare titled, The Merry Wives of Windsor. How poignant for us, right?! It get’s better. This is often misquoted and is correctly said by one of Shakespeare’s characters as, “Why then the world’s mine oyster, Which I with sword will open.”
So, a quick reminder to you my sweet momma, you are going to have to pry your oyster open with your knife. That means some work. But you got this!
A Backward Thought
After all that I’ve learned in my life of family, raising kids, and now adventuring, I’ve finally made friends with Father Time. We often say out loud that time is our enemy especially when it comes to making a business deal or making a new dream happen. But what if we were to flip that shit around backwards and reframe this thought with our new empty nester brains making time our friend? Perhaps then, we can truly enjoy the ride!
